Ray.

It’s been one week and one day since you’ve left me and mommy all alone here in this messed up world, and it seems like right now every day is getting harder instead of easier. I try to talk to you, but I guess to me getting no response just makes me feel like theres no point.. You always helped me see things a different way, a way that nobody else saw things, you made me believe that my best was just enough.. You helped mommy more than you think you did, she was finally starting to get better.. but now that you’re gone, it’s like she doesn’t have a reason to even attempt to keep trying to fight the battle. I’m trying to do what you did, and to keep her from it. But it’s so hard for me to do, at 17. Tommy came by today in your truck, mom was surprised I gave him a big hug.. but for some reason it made me feel like I was hugging you. I miss your big hugs, and text every day already. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being mean to you all the time. I’m sorry for getting mad at you, and I’m sorry for telling you, that you’re dead to me that one time you made me mad.. you’ll never be dead to me. Y’know it’s weird. When you’re here, nobody thinks that you can be gone in a split second, and then when you’re gone and aren’t able to return the people who never thought the days with you would end, don’t do anything but wish for another day with you.. But then that’d make them wish for one more day and one after that and so on. I still can’t believe you’re gone.. You’re trucks not home. No one aggravates the living shit out of me, no one fights with me over my burps.. haha. I sleep with the puppy you got me every night.. I havent slept alone since you’ve left. Peyton stayed with me for a whole week, I slept with mommy and sissy Friday night and slept with Mariah Saturday night, and mommy again last night. We slept with the lights on last night, because mommy is scared. Home isn’t home without you.. and our family is now officially broken. We’re missing a puzzle piece, and that just happens to be you.. You made our lives more complete then I can ever begin to try and explain to you Ray. You were more than my moms boyfriend, you were my bestfriend, and most importantly, you was my daddy. Don’t forget to remind me you love me every day, please.. You said I used to make your day when I told you I loved you, well now its your turn to make mine by telling me.. I love you daddy. ♥